And last week, I had to put an end to it.
Now you may be wondering why I would stop doing something that I loved? Indeed by all accounts it seems strange. However, behind the scenes the podcast was a real struggle. Talk Disney to Me went from a hobby outside of work and outside my social life, to my entire life. I was working on the podcast non-stop, editing and writing up ideas and preparing for the next episode. Late nights became a regular ghost and recording became more of a drag than something fun. But I pressed on with my friends because we enjoyed each others company. We enjoyed talking about Disney. Our schedules were crazy but we worked it out. But even though we were enjoying ourselves, this didn't stop the fact that I felt life was going by me without a second glance. I was putting off getting together with friends to record and edit, I was loosing sleep, I had a full time job and no time afterwards to focus on projects I have been passionate about for years. I want to write a book and I love reading books. Yet this pleasure was taken away from me and replaced with working on a Disney podcast. Life was a constant rush. Rushing to get things done before I had to record again, rushing to watch a TV show because time was limited. I was torn between my love of Disney and the life I wanted to live. And I had to make a choice. I didn't want to make that choice though. I wanted to continue with the podcast. I wanted to make it work. But truthfully, it never would. As long as Talk Disney to Me was alive, I couldn't further myself in the aspects of life I really felt passionate about.
I think this is something we all struggle with. We struggle with this idea that just because we love something means we stick with it. There is a big difference between following your dreams and doing something you love. I loved doing Talk Disney to Me. But truth be told, it wasn't going to take me to where I want to go in life. It was becoming a job and I wasn't even getting paid. I know life isn't about money but passion. However, money is still important. When you work hard, you want some kind of recognition be it feedback or money. Truth be told, we weren't getting much of either. When you work on something and can't do it without those things, you may be in the wrong business. I had to ask myself, where will this podcast take you in the next five years? Well, I could go to Disney World and meet up with a bunch of Disney fans and make new friends. But is Disney where I want to go in life? The answer is no. I want to be a writer. Disney has to come second. And that is why the podcast had to come to an end.
What is ironic is that when I made the decision, I was at work. Earlier that morning I had just rearranged our podcast schedule and was super pumped for all the topics we were going to discuss. And then I was brought back to reality while listening to a podcast called The Walk. The host was talking about dividing up your time and when you have to say no to certain things. That was when I realized I had to say no to Talk Disney to Me. I had to let it go. And I won't lie when I say I shed a tear or two at work at the very thought of it because at that moment I was set in my decision. The podcast is over, I told myself. It is strange because I felt as if I was losing a friend. Talk Disney to Me has become so ingrained in my day to day life and thoughts that it felt weird to say goodbye. But I hope it isn't a goodbye. I hope it is a see you soon kind of thing. I know that is cliche but it is true. The project is my baby and I hope to do something with it again. Whether it be in the form of a podcast or blog or community, I hope to some day return to it...in small doses of course. But for now, letting go feels bittersweet. I'm content.
I want to thank everyone involved in the show. My fellow hosts - Jen, Eric, JD, and Rachel. You guys are awesome and I know we will never stop talking about Disney anytime soon. Helpers behind the scenes - Zeek, Molly, and Gina. Zeek, you helped so much with where the podcast was going and I am so happy that another Disney podcast was born because of it, Behind the Magic. I can't wait to work with you in the future. Gina and Molly, you guys helped out with social media. While only on for a brief time, it was awesome having you on the team. I also want to thank Robert Velarde for coming on for an interview. That has to be the crowning moment for Talk Disney to Me and we are honored to have met and talked with you and hope to talk more in the future.
Obviously my time with Disney will still continue through this weekly blog. This is about all the time I can devote to Disney now. I hope it is enjoyable all the same. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Obviously I there is much I didn't say in this blog post but I hope what I have written is enough.
